twelve quick lines on a lousy lothario’s pickup line

He invited her in for a shag and, because it was cold, and she fancied the chances of warming herself on warm rugs, and the forecast was bitter with blizzards and snowbanks foretold, she accepted and leapt in. Put off by his cumbersome hugs she cornered the market on freestanding chairs and sat down. ‘Where’s(…)

word and gun play at teatime

This is a fragment not included yet in the non-book Autonomous Rifle which Alan pretends to be writing (at). Jackdaw, Editor ‘Olding. Is that a nonce word or did you make it up?’ noose (not capitalised) asked the recumbent rifle. ‘What,’ answered AR-666, no interrogatory rise in its voice. It narrowed its eyes, in a(…)


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